I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
