like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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