I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
