is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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