in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
