That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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