conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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