I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
