need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
