lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
