he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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