they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
