I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
