i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
