i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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