its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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