I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
