just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
