This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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