Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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