people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
