I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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