You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
