her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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