no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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