Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
