I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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