Dignity is for republicans.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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