i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
