I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
