we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
