Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
