Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
