So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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