Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
