I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
