my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
