I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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