What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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