Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
