he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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