Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
