never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
