Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
