it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
