The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
