just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just want nice things and good sex
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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