my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
