I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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