Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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