Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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