I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
