I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
