i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
